GUS - my beloved cat !!

Gus!!! oooo my beautiful furball, my sweet sweet kitty, my most beloved pet in this whole wide world. Before meeting Gus, I never thought I would like pets, after I left him, I feel a constant void in my life, my personality. Now when I see a cat strolling around my backyard or in the street, I see Gus in him. I feel for pets now like I never did before. Ah my sweet pet, I miss you so much. I remember the times at night when I would wake up with Gus walking over me. Almost every night when Gus would come and sleep in my bed. And and and...the soft purrrr when he wanted me to let him take my lap instead of the laptop. How he would never ever disturb me and when I would come home and climb the stairs, he would be standing right in front of stairs as if just waiting for me the whole day. Although I dont really know whether pets can have intricate thoughts but we sort of had a great friendship. There are so many untold stories which may remain untold for a long time. For now, Gus is as cute, sweet, fat, lazy, cuddly and alive as it was ever... the only thing being that am thousands of miles away missing his furry touch. Hope to someday see you my cat and we will play again with that green colored ribbon which you so much loved to play with !!

Blogging - and my blog !!

Well !!
Its come as quite a bit of surprise to me. I began this new blog about 9 days ago and about 7 days ago, I put up a counter on my blog to see how much hits I get a day. And since this is still essentially a one-page blog, the math wasn't that difficult to figure out the number of counts for this blog. Coming as a big surprise to me, I had 80 hits till today evening and now just as I am about to sleep, I thought to write something about my cat.
And guess what?!! I have 97 hits to date which is only 8 and half days old blog officially. So this made me write this extra entry about the wonders of blogging. To all those who visited and to those who WILL visit..... thank you for taking your time to read my spontaneous writings.

:)

of streets and artists...

these are some pictures ...some random pictures I took while craving for street art.

While wandering through the streets of Brooklyn in new york city as well as in different parts of Pilsen in Chicago, what attracted me so much was the hard work someone did on painting the walls on side streets and some of these pieces were extremely intricate. Among others, various subway stations in New York city and almost whole of chicago feel like a big canvas for the silent street artists that use their magic strokes to beautify their surroundings...

to my beloved seri ...

Among the mist of daylight dawning,

The sun rises to embrace and kiss the earth

As the trees and birds awake from their dream

Your image impressed on my stirring mind

I cannot hide this love I have for you

Whispering I eternaly wait for your return

Hours pass in the warmth of the afternoon sun

As lazy spring flowers tease and kiss

Intoxicated by the gentle breeze

I let my thoughts travel across the seas

Sailing upon the crowning crest of a wave

The ebb of life will not steal you from me

As I gently and safely hold you in my arms

Listen my darling to my hearts beat

It speaks volumes of my love for you !

Of censorship and blasphemy

Over the years I have experimented with things, thoughts, ideas and philosophies. Of all, most of the stuff is almost always available online except for the information that can be profitable for someone. Many old literature books are available online on project gutenburg just because these books dont have any copyrights. The reason !! nobody is alive to claim these copyrights. As compared to those timeless classics if you go in any decent book store nowadays, be it borders, barnes & nobles or any other simple paper store, you will find the worst of crap in the best of coverings and these paperbacks are so expensive that you sometime wonder whether some dummies actually buy them(no offence to anyone). My antagonism to this all apart, I think there should be a freedom of information act for whole of the world and not just for the cheap, useless information but the actual information for which money is being spent to be curtained from public eyes. People's lives are being played with like pawns on a chessboard by nation states but yet each and every one of these nation states' governments use means to keep these same people ignorant as much as they could. From artificial borders to presumed security threats, governments everywhere in the world have already gone beyond any moral values to penetrate in to the personal lives of people. Whether it being an NSEERS in america or a person 'condemned' for blasphemy in pakistan.... the Govts just wish to dictate people in a way that people can just abide by unwritten laws, stupid ethics carved by some retards or extremist morals. Anyways, what I am trying to write is that from time to time I would put up here some of such stuff which otherwise would be deemed 'illegal' here. But as you may see, I dont believe in every absurd law. I respect the good ones, but I hate the ones made by people with a lesser IQ then mine... so considering the fact that I have already put up my picture with salman rushdie up here while living in Pakistan, I would also be uploading some parts of books such as satanic verses etc.... A firm believer of the right to be free and learn free without any prejudice, I will also be putting up parts from 'banned' and 'condemned' books which here come under the heading of blasphemy..... hah! blasphemy !! whats a blasphemy when its just a man talking of another man...

Obama and Somair

I began writing this piece on inauguration day and I think its time I finish this. Well.... as I sit here in my home seeing the inauguration, I can only think about my great days in Chicago during the campaign. Obama was everywhere, hope, change and future...everything looked so bright. And I hope it does now even more as the dream finally comes true. Martin Luther King, malcolm X and Rosa Parks. Countless silent heroes in this struggle that began decades ago, which has finally entered a new era. The struggle for eternal freedom and equal rights will continue forever...it is the great dream for me. And as of yet, in simple terms, Obama inauguration is just a step forward in that direction. Personally speaking, I never really put any realistic hope in politicians and such leaders but I took some extra steps to bring this symbolic change myself. What I did... well nothing much of the sort except that I displayed the Obama button on my backpack for most of time while in USA. Had some detailed arguements, discussions and debates with people who thought wars are good for us. I Was and still am a member of moveon.org and participated in few of their phonecall parties to call voters in swing states. Went to grant park. Donated $ 10 to the campaign. If that is not enough, just doing this while I was in US and still not a citizen with no right to vote is something worth mentioning for myself. Now that may be the reason I made my whole family sit in front of TV here in pakistan to witness a great part of history and asked everybody to be silent when U2 played 'city of blinding lights'... but its my little right to expect. I don't expect any visible change except on news channels but maybe that is good for a start. Its the lives of people I want to see the change in. And frankly that includes mine too...so now I only have to wait and see. I did what I could for him, gave my time, money, energy and brains, now lets see what Mr. Obama does for me :) ...and the countless other like me who never had the right to vote but worked hard to bring this change inside US. And maybe were much more active then many americans whose lives will change directly while we will still be silent spectators. Hope the recession dies away.

US diaries continued...(JULY '08)

2 July 2008
Its Wednesday. Moe's bar and smooch cafe with other couchsurfers...

3 July 2008
Its Thursday. revival meetup with multiple couchsurfers. rooftop party later at joe che's place....busted by cops at 3 am in morning...had a blast :)

4 July 2008

Its Friday. woke late. went for some shopping in downtown n chinatown before I leave for Chicago. fireworks at rooftop party and free drinks. Talked to Richard from ireland staying at same hostel. Long live USA. Saw spectacular fireworks today. Went to downtown at night with clayton for gyros. Yum and fun. Loved it all.

5 July 2008

Its saturday afternoon. A beautiful sleepy weekend In Chicago. Time seems to stand still as I stand in hot sun and nice breeze. Its just beautiful, enchanting, marvellous. Never thought Chicago could be so beautiful and Serene. Had the jetBlue Flight to Chicago from new york city in early morning. It was really heart-warming that many couchsurfers came to drop me at jfk. Went to Millenium Park in afternoon and Skylark dive bar in evening with Mars and Simon.

6 July 2008

Its sunday. Woke early. Had a looooong Walk to downtown. Bought my new sneakers from Payless shoe source on Ashland Avenue. Going downtown with Marsena and Simon later on.

7 July 2008

Its Monday. Went to Library early morning. It was really chilly and cloudy as I wasnt wearing anything except my shorts and t-shirt.

8 July 2008

Its Tuesday. Went to library again

__________________________

10 July 2008 A WONDERFUL DAY FOR ME....A TREAT !! totally unexpected.

Its Thursday. I went to the Chicago Public Library just for fun and there I found Mr. Salman Rushdie. The famous author being persecuted in Muslim world for decades. I specially bought to original copies of Satanic Verses and got them signed from him. Was the last person to leave the auditorium after the huge crowd left. Had a little chat with him and some historic snaps. Will be proud of this moment for a while. Mr. Rushdies especially was surprised to find out that am from pakistan since not many people from Pakistan respect him or like his books. In fact, he is condemned to death for 'blasphemy'....

11 July

Its Friday. Met Perronick and Angella... the german and swiss couchsurfers. Both are violin players. Guy had marfan syndrome.

12 July 2008

Its saturday. Went cornholing. it was FUN FUN FUN FUN..... I won not just the cornhole but also the winner's pie. Corn Hole is a midwestern US game played with little sacks filled with corn that you have to throw in a hole. Its a lazy game usually played in sunny summer afternoons with barbecue and drinks. Loved the whole idea. Another famous midwest game is hackysack. John's friend tyler especially gifted me a hackysack ball some days back.

13 July

Its sunday. Marco arrived today from Slovenia. He is also a couchsurfer. A really nice person. We went to Frisbie with Mark Walden and Mars. And then to Millenium park.

14 July 2008

Its Monday. Went to Northwestern university today

.......

25 July 2008

Its Friday and Sehar's birthday. her first in US. Missed her today. Hope she celebrates it in style. Going back to Newyork city today. Going to Avida and then to Rainforest for lunch before I leave. Will be going with Mike Mendez. Using rideshare of craigslist for first time. It would be fun to drive all the way from Chicago to Philadelphia. Have got my camera ready for the almost 1000 mile trip :)

26 July 2008

Its saturday today.
Its 7 15 pm and I am in Talha's house. Reached Philadelphia in morning. Took Cherry bus from Philly to NYC. Reached NYC to be shocked. Called Talha for 2 hours before finally thinking that he would be asleep and took a subway with my big bag from canal street and went all the way down to Staten island Ferry and then took ferry to island and then another bus to his place. Got off half a mile short and had to pull my big bag all the way to is place. Finally reached there by 1 30 pm even though I reached NYC by 9 50 am. Called him and he finally picked up the call and he was sleeping. So I surprised him and took his pic in pajamas when he came out. But surprise was for me and I found that he already had his stag yesterday night and today he is going to Utah on business trip. So, am pushed in to looking for a place to stay tonight, even though I haven't slept for 36 hours. To find a new abode for myself and I am kind of relaxed as I have loads of options in my mind. Lot of couchsurfers and hostel option. So just came back after seeing dark Knight with talha for free and kind of taking it all lightly. Its 8 pm now and am getting a bit panicky as every person I called had his or her voicemail on. Talha delayed his flight for tonight for me to tomorrow morning. He's a great friend. Only that we did not figure out stuff before my arrival and a part of my problem is mine because of my stupid idea of surprising people. That happened on my first day in Chicago also and felt so embarassed that I had to call Marsena back from her outting to welcome me. I just emailed Mennonite mission network people in NYC and now I am about to leave for hostel with Talha after dinner. Thanks God I won't have to worry about carrying my bag as Talha will drop me there. Its 10 25 pm. Just arrived at hostel again after 3 weeks only to find it has changed quite a bit. I can't find Marcello and thanks goodness they had 1 bed in mixed room. I just want to go to sleep now. Long long day.

27 July 2008

Its sunday
Raining. Woke up at 11 30 am and just corresponded with a prospective landlord about seeing her place in Long Island. I am going there even if its raining. Cant miss this opportunity. Talked to Brian. I may get to stay at his place for 2 days.

28 July 2008

Its 2 30 pm on Monday. Am at Bryant park. Checked out from hostel and paid 3 dollars to keep my bags there. Had a hotdog and waiting for call from my prospective new landlord Marisol and a call from Brian. Hoping to not to spend any money at hostel stay again. There are continuous announcements about some movie here at Bryant park tonight at 9 pm. Its 5 pm now. Got call from Brian and he can't host me. Its fine with me as he is already staying with 5 other people and I understand his situation. And I cant move-in to long island as her tenant is not leaving till 1st august. No place to go but back to hostel. Its 6 30 pm and am at hostel. came here to find out they are fully booked now for whole night. Had no option but to call a distant Jazz hostel for tonight in harlem and as luck would be, just before I left, someone cancelled booking for tonight and I got a bed for tonight and tomorrow. Also got a surprise call from marko. Now no stress of staying on my head. So, going out with Marko to movies. Will see him at 8 00 pm in Bryant Park.

30th july 2008

its 2 am in the night here as I sit here in new york city. Soon i will be going back to my hostel for my last night there. I have now quite some memories of that place. Its surprising how much people can influence your mood and behavior. My last visit to this hostel was planned and I made so many good friends that I miss now and though it was only for 8 days. This time my stay here was totally unplanned and it turned out to be not so good. It was totally haphazard. Everyday I thought i'd leave this place for some better sanctuary but I couldn't find one. And so i finally decided to settle for this place till tonight as I move out tomorrow afternoon to my new abode in Long island. I know it'll be tough to carry my bag through3 subways and 3 buses but am still happy and excited as am looking forward to it. Good thing is that my landlord allowed me to stay inside her part of house till her tenant moves out on 1st and I won't have to spend more money. I have already spent alot of it and now I need to really hold my reins. I met yasir and his friend today and surprisingly it went well. he didnt rebuff me about my meeting with salman rushdie. In fact, after listening to all his stints in various hospitals n univs here and his thrift spending, I kind of scolded myself in heart for being so careless past one month. I dont have a job right now and I dont have unlimited resources. My parents are willingly supporting me as they don't know my 'other' free-thinking agnostic side. I know the day they find out about it, i will lose everything and everyone and would be left alone. Thanks goodness I have made some really good friends here in NYC and Chicago. And I am so happy because of my superb friend Mars who let me use her place as my home in US.

31st july 2008

Am sitting here in hostel lounge at 12 noon. I just checked out but asked them to let me stay here till 2 30 when I will begin my long journey with big bags towards long island. I will be staying at a nice lady's place in Baldwin which is about 2 hours from my internship place in new hyde park but that will work fine for me as the place is really nice, clean and good for me as its cheap. Since yesterday I am living on some cashew nuts and chips but I think I did get to have my required calories. In fact yesterday was my day in NYC on this 2nd visit when I felt I was on a real high from evening onwards. This energy made me stay awake till 4 30 am and I woke today at 8 57 am which is not bad as am not feeling sleepy at all. I emailed and got a good response from student coordinator at NSLIJ that I can show up on 4th august instead of 1st on Monday which has decreased a lot of stress from my mind. I dont have to worry soon after my shifting about preparing my dress for next morning and so as I dont even know if there will be an iron for my use or i'll have to buy one. I am listening to desert rose by sting and I remember I felt really good when I purposefully listened this song when my kuwait air plane flew over baghdad and baquba. It gives me pain when I see pain and suffering and this feeling of helplessness that I cant do anything about it. Here in US I saw last year and this year some monuments, flags and flowers for those brave soldiers who lost their lives when they had nothing personal to do over there. It was just because of some poor decisions at the authority level which were so surprising for me from a country which really gave this world a hope about assimilation, freedom and democracy. I remember on my 2nd day in US on this visit; precisely 28th june saturday when I went to ground zero and felt so bad that I come from the land where this all darkness originated from. It almost made me teary when I heard the brillinat song by U2 'city of blinding lights' but it also made me so hopeful and happy. Thats why I went to Statue of liberty and then to staten island. Just the look of lady liberty is mesmerizing. Its so much hopeful. She won't bend or give in the freedom she represents. Not some fought-for freedom as depicted wrongly in the movies but the spiritual freedom. I don't know if many people have seen it but she looks so much at peace with herself. I felt so elated that I hide my true beliefs and thoughts from my parents, Muslim friends and everyone in family but I am at peace with myself. I didnot come over to USA to just get in to a residency and earn some money. I came here for freedom. Freedom of life and pursuit of happiness. Freedom of thought, speech and expression. I love America. Not because of its money and power. But because of its diversity and openness. So, its 9 28 pm now and I just got back to the place where am going to stay for next whole month. I don't know where I will be sleeping tonight as the room I am supposed to rent is till not vacant and that tenant ill move out tomorrow. Am waiting for Marisol-the owner to come and we can talk. I feel super exhausted right now. Made this mistake of going to McDonalds and took the N6 bus to jamaica station and didn't realize that it would be so tough to get a seat on the returning buses. Missed 4 buses to get my chance finally. Earlier, I came all the way from Varet street near Bogart in Brooklyn to this place here in Baldwin in Long Island via 4 subway connections and 3 buses. Took a lot of time and strength and energy and my bag's wheels are also quite flattened now but atleast I made it to here without spending any penny unlike last time when I had to buy LIRR tickets costing more then $30.00........

...July goes... 1 month and 4 days done in US till now...