Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Pakistan - the failed state ?

So here comes another episode of Pakistan's destruction. The fake courts, most corrupt president and politicians and the most dumb nation. Add a volatile army, religious fanatics out to kill daily and a police that even puts the serial-killers to shame. That makes the blend called quagmire. A very practical view of Islam's failure in making a nation. Now I realize that when you compare the 2 nations created in name of religion, both are almost the same in their viciousness, trigger-friendly attitude. Pakistan and Israel.

But coming back to Pakistan, again tires are burning, cars are stone-pelted and ammunition is going off everywhere (which pakistanis seem to have alot of). As of today 25th February 2009, Pakistan has descended in chaos, destruction and senseless killing and anarchy once again. The last few percent of people who thought that Pakistan may survive...just may survive, just lost all hope. I just hope I get in to a good research program this year :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Once upon a time.

Once upon a time, there was a hard-working man. He lived a tough life, was raised an orphan and later had to pass his adolescence with few friends. A trader by profession, he used to take goods from one place to another, city after city, trading his items to get important goods that were required back home. Having a love marriage of his own choice, that proved to be a success for him. What good can life be without true, honest love. He carried on with his trade and happy married life and was blessed with a beautiful daughter. Being a good father and a good husband, he worked hard for them to live in peace. Middle age was not an issue for him unlike many people of his time and he became a philosophical, deep-thinking introvert. Pondering on life's mysteries, he would spend days away from his city and meditated in distant mountains and hills.
Its surprising how people react to different things and ideas in life. An idea for one may be a freedom but for other could be a prison. A belief for one could be a harbinger for peace and for others a wrath of war.

hahaha...my spanish course!

I have been learning spanish for a while and for that purpose, mostly it was the teach yourself method. But recently, since I was free, I began taking courses. Yesterday I was asked to write a small note on 'My Imaginary Friend'.

Here is my note:

Soy somair. Tengo a un amigo imaginario. Nombre es Pedro. Es de Perú. Le gusta frisbie. Jugamos frisbie diario. Le también quiere fútbol.

Soy somair = I am somair.

Tengo a un amigo imaginario = I have an imaginary friend.

Nombre es Pedro = Name is Pedro.

Es de Peru = Is of Peru.

Le gusta frisbie = He likes frisbie.

Jugamos frisbie diario = We play frisbie daily.

Le tambien quiere futbol = He also likes soccer.

....hahaha, don't even know why I wrote it here. Just getting bored. Going to take a nap.

USA medical elective experience

It was in summer of 2007 that I went for my final year medical student electives to USA. It was pretty much all too unexpected and pretty poorly planned that I was also surprised the day I reached US that am finally here.
It all began in December of year 2006 when this idea was first floated to me of going for US medical electives in final year. At that time, I was in my 4th year of medical school in Rawalpindi Medical College and was giving my 3rd professional exam. Being a very mediocre student and especially super mediocre in Medical School, my interest was always governed more by being career-oriented at that time then bookish studies for my exams.

When this idea was first given to me, I outrightly rejected it that my parents won't agree being from a normal middle class, working class pakistani family. And also, half of my close relatives being doctors and none of them having gone for any electives whatsoever put my idea in a weak position even before it began. Me and my love discussed the various elective ideas and she being very optimistic and interested in the whole matter also pushed me in looking into it. So slowly, after gathering some guts I asked my father and mother one day in early January of 2007 that I wish to do US medical electives and that how important they would be for me and my career and my studies. I further made it clear that I won't be going there just for USA electives experience but also will be appearing in United States Medical Licensing Exam - clinical skills part. And within a few days, quite contrary to my thinking, my parents granted me the approval. This 'go-ahead' signal was perhaps as surprising to me as it was surprising for them. The real thing was not their decision in deciding what I should do or not do, but in fact I needed their financial support if I did go for such an endeavour.
So, then began the long process of sorting out electives' universities in USA which offer medical electives to foreign students, especially from Pakistan. In the process, I sat for TOEFL iBT, payed different fees to different programs and went through various processes of making my transcripts and sending them to different US medical schools from my medical school. The important thing to mention here is that I was never helped in this matter by anyone except the internet and anyone or everyone who really wishes to go for USA elective experience can be frothing from all the required information if he/she spends sometime online searching for all the available info. Doing it by my own self totally, I had to go through a lot of trial and error. Lost money, received rejections from alot of the programs and since I was also applying for USMLE and doing the whole paperwork for my love also, it was kind of difficult and marred with troubles. By April, nothing seemed to be going fine. My final hope rested in Rosalind Franklin University and the University of Wisconsin. Email being a slow and unreliable method for me in this regard, I decided to start calling all of them. A positive response on phone from Rosalind Franklin for an available seat in august of 2007 made me look for other universities with openly listed faculty phone numbers. So, I started calling all of them and it was sheerly good luck that I called Ms. Pam in University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas just asking about any avaliable US medical electives for foreign students that summer. The reply was astoundingly wonderful and made me extremely ecstatic. She told me that they have seat avaliable in even May and June of 2007. Since it was early April, I took no time and sent my application materials through DHL the VERY SAME evening at 5 pm.
Some days later, it was on my close uncle's wedding reception day that I called again to know of my application when I was given the good news that I have been accepted. I at-once followed with seri's application but their seats were filled so it got approved in another department and also in another university of the University of Texas system. Then began the hectic paperwork for visa and it went quite smoothly. In fact it went much more easily then I expected and the only thing that got bogged down a little bit was the security clearance, also called the administrative processing. Things did look a bit difficult as administrative processing took some time but finally all was set for me to head for my USA electives experience. Getting a leave from my own medical school was not a problem in Pakistan ;) ...
I received my passport back after a wait of a month while I was supposed to begin my elective earlier. So, the same day I received my passport, I went to look for a plane ticket to US. That day proved to be useless as we couldnt really find a good ticket with a good deal. As it was my first time going to USA, my end destination was Dallas in Texas, and I had to reach the DFW Airport within 2 days. So, my demand from all travel agents was to make my itinerary all the way from islamabad in pakistan to Dallas in Texas. Being a difficult task to find such a flight deal on a day's notice, my first day looking for it was a disappointment. The next morning, we finally were able to find a deal for that same day's night. It was a good deal with its own problems though. The biggest being that I will have to have a stayover of 14 hours at Dubai.
I ran home and began packing. Sometime after midnight my parents came to drop me at the airport. And then began my first US adventure. The emirates flight to Dubai was smooth. Stay was prolonged at Dubai but I was able to enjoy all of the time in exploring every inch of the place. My next flight was long and really exciting as I was flying to United States for the first time. Got to see a lot of countries from sky including Jordan, Italy and France as well as arabian sea, mediterranean sea, persian gulf and Atlantic Ocean. I landed at JFK Airport in new york city at around 7 am the day before my first US elective day. It took awhile to get through immigration and to get to Terminal 2 where I was supposed to get on Delta Airlines flight to Dallas. Another surprise awaited me there as I was told that my seat is not confirmed. After raising some hue and cry and finally getting a new bording pass, the flight was cancelled. All the passengers were put on next flight which was going 3 hours later. Finally, when I sat in that plane, I was so sleepy that I slept straight through 3 and half hours of flight. It was really great to see the Dallas skyline and finally to get on the ground. But I was about to find that my US adventure is just beginning as Delta had left my main suitcase back at JFK airport. I was told that they would deliver my bag at my given address but I was too worried to leave my bag at the mercy of Delta, so I waited for 4 hours at airport till the next flight arrived with my bag and I had a sigh of relief. A novice as I was in world travels, I had arranged my stay here totally through craigslist. And didn't really know where I was heading except that I had that guy's address, cell number and a printout of our email correspondence. But when I reached his place after paying heftily to the cab driver, I was finally relieved to find a nice guy with a nice home, and a room ready for me. It was well enough for me since I really wasn't looking for any more adventure for the time being. After ironing my clothes quickly, I went to bed to wake up early next morning.
My stay in south side of Dallas provided me a good opportunity to look at the lower strata of society in US and get to see life up and close in a different world. It took me 50 minutes daily to commute to the UT Southwestern campus from my place. Both of my internal medicine electives were based at the Parkland Hospital. The same Parkland Hospital where President John F Kennedy died :(
The first day of electives went really fine as I was able to round with my attending who was a really nice lady. Her name was Dr. Wada and she was my attending for only 1 week. Later on, Dr. Wada would also be the attending of Seri along with the same fellow that
was mine too during the rotation in Infectious Diseases. For most part in my rotation, my attending was Prof. Dr. Paul Southern who was a very nice person. A very friendly and caring teacher who helped me and is still helping me in my further studies. Other than him, my fellow Dr. DeMarco was equally superb and extremely nice to me. It was his first rotation as a fellow too so we had good 3 weeks of fun and patient care. With me, there was a PA student doing her rotation too. Her name was Kristin and she is now a qualified Physician Assistant working in Houston. There were also a lot of other students and teachers who I interacted with but couldnt keep contact with all of them. During those electives, I found out the prevalence of Pseudomonas Aeruginosa in hospitalised patients in US. Saw a lot of MRSA cases and the worse lower extremity infections in Diabetics. I found a big percentage of patients in US hospitals to be the classic text book cases of HTN and DM co-morbids. The overall experience for me was quite new and exciting. Totally different workup as compared to the ones we do in pakistan and different modes of teaching provided me ample opportunity to see and learn. Also, I was able to see the healthcare at its almost best as compared to the one provided in pakistan.

Unfortunately for being in Pakistan, health and education have always been the last priority for the government ever since Pakistan was created. Compared to all that, I think that USA has one of the best healthcare even though many people will not agree with me. Back to my USA elective experience , my 2nd elective was in rheumatology and on my first day I received a 5 lb book called 'A PRIMER OF RHEUMATOLOGY' which definitely for me was not a primer but a bulldozer because it was so heavy that on leaving USA, I had to leave it at the airport (along with other stuff as my bags were above the allowed weight limit).

My time through my second elective was equally good as the first one, except that it was a bit more boring. And since I had to prepare for my step-2 USMLE, my time was kind of preoccupied. I finished my US medical electives on 30th august and had a 1st september flight to houston which was nothing less then an adventure as I was really short of money so I took the 408 bus at 5 30 am in morning. And I had to ask the lady at fastonia's home to give me a free ride up to 408 for which she was really generous to come and drive me to bus stop at 4 am in morning. At the DFW airport, I had to dump close to 20 lbs of stuff to bring my luggage weight in range so that I do not have to pay extra 25 $ per bag. Flight was quick for about 45 minutes and I shot a video of whole flight....yes! whole flight. At Houston, the Days Inn shuttle arrived on time and I reached the hotel in late afternoon. My time spent there was really good as I was able to hook up with some Indian, Syrian and Pakistani docs who were all there for Step-2 CS. Not only that we all hung around together for 3 days but we also practiced together our FA and uworld cases. Arbaz, Garima, Mansi, Puneet bhai, Ibrahim and Manzoor. Suddenly, I had more friends in USA and most of them are still good friends of mine. Not just that but about half of them are residents and they have been a great source of information for me in my USMLEs.
On 4th of september I gave my USMLE step-2 CS with some of them and then went for a fish burger at McDonalds. Early next morning, I was on a flight to NYC to see Talha. Those were some great 5 days I spent in NYC. Not just with my school days friend Talha but another of my old buddy Junaid came from Toronto, Canada. We were together after a lapse of around 9-10 years and it was just amazing. We spent a wonderful time there. Walked all over Manhattan, went to Long Island beaches, watched movies together and hung out with Talha's friends. But all good times come to an end and so was it there. Soon after, I left for Pakistan and after spending sometime at Dubai, I was back in Islamabad. It wasn't just that. I went to my Medical School the same morning I touched down at Islamabad Airport with a new vigor for medicine and some good stories to tell.

My overall experience was awesome and my level of trust greatly increased on people, which reached its epoch on my second trip to US in 2008. I was able to spend some quality time in Dallas, went to Houston, saw New York and also went to Fortworth which became an important city to me next year for another reason. Looking back now, I just say that everything that happens has a part to play in the bigger picture. Not exactly talking of divine intervention but just that my USA elective experience was as best as it could be. And lastly, its not that difficult as people think it to be anyways.

I again went next year for other reasons but did two more months of US medical electives. With time, I have been able to build a good USA elective experience that may help me a long way I guess.

Monday, February 23, 2009

First Chicago Snow !



I stand at my gate's grill
The blue house - so beautiful
Gazing upon Winter's miracle
Nature's true Winter call

I see the sky's frozen spill
Oh what a joy does my heart feel
To see the silent neighborhood
Covered in white wonderful bliss

Then I put on my coat
Wander outside
Raise up my hands
Spin round and round
As the snow falls to the ground

As shining flakes fall down
Riding the cold northern wind
I try to gaze at each flake
And catch one on my numbing hand

Amazed at nature's little wonder
I see the millions softly land
And a vast white desert is born
As their tranquil journey ends

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Friends and The people

On my first visit to US, everything happened a bit too quickly. Studies, exams and medicine rotations... all took a big part of my time and energy. Although I did try to appease the traveller in me but I wasn't able to meet many new people albeit a few good ones. However, my second and most recent visit to US was long, productive, and ambitious. I went out to see, learn, travel and explore. My intentions were to transcend the cultural, religious and traditional boundaries, experience freedom in its totality and see the good in people. One of the main reasons why I deliberately tried to couchsurf was to see the real way of living of people there. To intermingle with them, celebrate their festivities and not just stick to few people or few areas. As much as my meagre finances allowed me, I travelled, made friends and even made use of marsena philosophy to 'bring the world to your doorstep'.
The result, I got to meet many dozens of great people and made some superb friends. From Aji Pillai in Irving to Marsena in Chicago, Mark Walden, John & Erin, Celeste & Josaiah, Paul & Sarah, they all made a huge impact on my little world. Victor Barajas from El paso, Tony Heredia from Peoria, Galen Joel from Alaska, Sachin Kotre from india, Marko Benigar from Slovenia, Brian Murphy from Ireland, Ian Beauregard and Clayton Mitchell from Canada, Perronick and Angela from Switzerland & Germany, the 3 swedish boys, the Danish Girls on route 66, they are all just so many of them that it seems I have lived a lifetime. Marisol and jason Rubin in NYC, Priyank and Chintan in Dallas, Mike Mendez from Philadelphia, there are just so so many of them. Not just my hope in humanity increased ten-fold but my belief in love found its root again. I not only got together with my beloved again but also was lucky enough to spend the most beautiful of time of my life with her. I went to see and meet the world and the world embraced me. I just hope that its just the beginning and I meet countless other like them and remain friends with all of them.
Its just marvellous how high the humans can lift themselves, only if we see beyond borders of nations, boundaries of traditions, bars of religion and the delicate fulcrums of morality...

Galen - the hempmilk guy !

my lifelong fantasy with people like john lennon.... the bearded, long-haired people who are super pacifists and seek world freedom and peace has never ceased. In fact, from martin luther king to U2... and the anti-war movement in the west quite surprised me with its energy and vigor. And now there are some super people leading the way to make the world a peaceful greener place... so talking about my love for such people, the free-thinkers, good-natured, pacifists aka hippies or whatever people like to use the terms for them, the bottom line is that I always had a fantasy to be like one of them since I have been born and bred in a very suffocated society with no religious freedom or the option to choose the free, peaceful, easy life you wish to live. That is why I fell in love with the concepts of freight-train hopping, peace marches, weed-smoking and ofcourse dedicating my life for eternal good of not just humanity but the whole planet. so after this whole long prologue, the thing I wish to tell is that I met Galen Joel, and who is Galen...well he is sort of a hippie, a person who loves to travel, is good-natured, wishes well for everyone, is simple and straight and what not. He is a dedicated environmentalist, a practicing organic foods advocate and the person who taught me how cool it could be to be vegetarian...simply speaking - he is superb. I met him at Mars' place in Chicago when he came all the way from Alaska to campaign for a good cause. He lived simply, showed through his life to me a lot as to how to live simply and really broadened my knowledge in a great great way. And I couldnt be more proud that not only I made good friends with him, but I definitely hope and wish to meet him someday in future.... I could simply go on for hours talking about this good person but here is how neatly he described himself "I like traveling. I like music. I like people. I like improv. I like the earth and beauty"... one of those persons like Mars who made an impact on me while I was in US, he simply is awesome. From, country music festival to that amazing improv show... there are some golden memories that I would love to repeat. And even as I write these words while he is so soooo far away in peru, I can't forget his style of saying...Right on man, right on!!!

Marsena - the amiga !

Marsena was my superb host, my bestest of friends and a very kind-hearted person. I met her through couchsurfing and then showed up at her place without even calling her from thousands of miles away. Yet she was mst generous enough to provide me the most royal treatment and gave me the large part of her house not just for few weeks but for the most of my time in US during my 2008 visit. It would be crazy enough to tell that before knowing her, I didnot even know that Sears tower is in Chicago and never really had seen the american way of life. But from day one to maybe day one hundred and something that I got to live as her room mate, she became my best friend in US and provided me with advice, guidance, food, shelter, my own pet, internet, a free cell phone and a whole bunch of irreplacable friends that made me see all the good in american people against which I was so much told back home in my country and surroundings.
I got to see, live and experience a non-stereotypical way of life and she made me trust couchsurfing so much that there is no looking back for me now. I love and trust strangers now as much as my own people and am more then willing to make friends out of the most difficult of human beings. Right now, am more then ten thousand miles away from her and there is so much more I can write about her but for now, I hope and pray that we remain as good of friends for good and Gus-our lovely cat and the most beautiful and loveable pet in this world lives as long as we do.... here is a link to an article in TIMEOUT CHICAGO that was done about couchsurfing while I was there....

(now thats how good of a host and person she is)

lastly...not to mention, I fell in love LOVE LOVEEE with Chicago.....its summers are the most enviable (dun know if am spelling it right)....

Saturday, February 21, 2009

GUS - my beloved cat !!

Gus!!! oooo my beautiful furball, my sweet sweet kitty, my most beloved pet in this whole wide world. Before meeting Gus, I never thought I would like pets, after I left him, I feel a constant void in my life, my personality. Now when I see a cat strolling around my backyard or in the street, I see Gus in him. I feel for pets now like I never did before. Ah my sweet pet, I miss you so much. I remember the times at night when I would wake up with Gus walking over me. Almost every night when Gus would come and sleep in my bed. And and and...the soft purrrr when he wanted me to let him take my lap instead of the laptop. How he would never ever disturb me and when I would come home and climb the stairs, he would be standing right in front of stairs as if just waiting for me the whole day. Although I dont really know whether pets can have intricate thoughts but we sort of had a great friendship. There are so many untold stories which may remain untold for a long time. For now, Gus is as cute, sweet, fat, lazy, cuddly and alive as it was ever... the only thing being that am thousands of miles away missing his furry touch. Hope to someday see you my cat and we will play again with that green colored ribbon which you so much loved to play with !!





Blogging - and my blog !!

Well !!
Its come as quite a bit of surprise to me. I began this new blog about 9 days ago and about 7 days ago, I put up a counter on my blog to see how much hits I get a day. And since this is still essentially a one-page blog, the math wasn't that difficult to figure out the number of counts for this blog. Coming as a big surprise to me, I had 80 hits till today evening and now just as I am about to sleep, I thought to write something about my cat.
And guess what?!! I have 97 hits to date which is only 8 and half days old blog officially. So this made me write this extra entry about the wonders of blogging. To all those who visited and to those who WILL visit..... thank you for taking your time to read my spontaneous writings.

:)

Friday, February 20, 2009

of streets and artists...










these are some pictures ...some random pictures I took while craving for street art.


While wandering through the streets of Brooklyn in new york city as well as in different parts of Pilsen in Chicago, what attracted me so much was the hard work someone did on painting the walls on side streets and some of these pieces were extremely intricate. Among others, various subway stations in New York city and almost whole of chicago feel like a big canvas for the silent street artists that use their magic strokes to beautify their surroundings...








to my beloved seri ...

Among the mist of daylight dawning,
The sun rises to embrace and kiss the earth
As the trees and birds awake from their dream
Your image impressed on my stirring mind

I cannot hide this love I have for you
Whispering I eternaly wait for your return
Hours pass in the warmth of the afternoon sun
As lazy spring flowers tease and kiss
Intoxicated by the gentle breeze

I let my thoughts travel across the seas
Sailing upon the crowning crest of a wave
The ebb of life will not steal you from me
As I gently and safely hold you in my arms
Listen my darling to my hearts beat
It speaks volumes of my love for you !

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Of censorship and blasphemy

Over the years I have experimented with things, thoughts, ideas and philosophies. Of all, most of the stuff is almost always available online except for the information that can be profitable for someone. Many old literature books are available online on project gutenburg just because these books dont have any copyrights. The reason !! nobody is alive to claim these copyrights. As compared to those timeless classics if you go in any decent book store nowadays, be it borders, barnes & nobles or any other simple paper store, you will find the worst of crap in the best of coverings and these paperbacks are so expensive that you sometime wonder whether some dummies actually buy them(no offence to anyone). My antagonism to this all apart, I think there should be a freedom of information act for whole of the world and not just for the cheap, useless information but the actual information for which money is being spent to be curtained from public eyes. People's lives are being played with like pawns on a chessboard by nation states but yet each and every one of these nation states' governments use means to keep these same people ignorant as much as they could. From artificial borders to presumed security threats, governments everywhere in the world have already gone beyond any moral values to penetrate in to the personal lives of people. Whether it being an NSEERS in america or a person 'condemned' for blasphemy in pakistan.... the Govts just wish to dictate people in a way that people can just abide by unwritten laws, stupid ethics carved by some retards or extremist morals. Anyways, what I am trying to write is that from time to time I would put up here some of such stuff which otherwise would be deemed 'illegal' here. But as you may see, I dont believe in every absurd law. I respect the good ones, but I hate the ones made by people with a lesser IQ then mine... so considering the fact that I have already put up my picture with salman rushdie up here while living in Pakistan, I would also be uploading some parts of books such as satanic verses etc.... A firm believer of the right to be free and learn free without any prejudice, I will also be putting up parts from 'banned' and 'condemned' books which here come under the heading of blasphemy..... hah! blasphemy !! whats a blasphemy when its just a man talking of another man...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Obama and Somair

I began writing this piece on inauguration day and I think its time I finish this. Well.... as I sit here in my home seeing the inauguration, I can only think about my great days in Chicago during the campaign. Obama was everywhere, hope, change and future...everything looked so bright. And I hope it does now even more as the dream finally comes true. Martin Luther King, malcolm X and Rosa Parks. Countless silent heroes in this struggle that began decades ago, which has finally entered a new era. The struggle for eternal freedom and equal rights will continue forever...it is the great dream for me. And as of yet, in simple terms, Obama inauguration is just a step forward in that direction. Personally speaking, I never really put any realistic hope in politicians and such leaders but I took some extra steps to bring this symbolic change myself. What I did... well nothing much of the sort except that I displayed the Obama button on my backpack for most of time while in USA. Had some detailed arguements, discussions and debates with people who thought wars are good for us. I Was and still am a member of moveon.org and participated in few of their phonecall parties to call voters in swing states. Went to grant park. Donated $ 10 to the campaign. If that is not enough, just doing this while I was in US and still not a citizen with no right to vote is something worth mentioning for myself. Now that may be the reason I made my whole family sit in front of TV here in pakistan to witness a great part of history and asked everybody to be silent when U2 played 'city of blinding lights'... but its my little right to expect. I don't expect any visible change except on news channels but maybe that is good for a start. Its the lives of people I want to see the change in. And frankly that includes mine too...so now I only have to wait and see. I did what I could for him, gave my time, money, energy and brains, now lets see what Mr. Obama does for me :) ...and the countless other like me who never had the right to vote but worked hard to bring this change inside US. And maybe were much more active then many americans whose lives will change directly while we will still be silent spectators. Hope the recession dies away.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

US diaries continued...(JULY '08)

2 July 2008
Its Wednesday. Moe's bar and smooch cafe with other couchsurfers...

3 July 2008
Its Thursday. revival meetup with multiple couchsurfers. rooftop party later at joe che's place....busted by cops at 3 am in morning...had a blast :)

4 July 2008

Its Friday. woke late. went for some shopping in downtown n chinatown before I leave for Chicago. fireworks at rooftop party and free drinks. Talked to Richard from ireland staying at same hostel. Long live USA. Saw spectacular fireworks today. Went to downtown at night with clayton for gyros. Yum and fun. Loved it all.


5 July 2008

Its saturday afternoon. A beautiful sleepy weekend In Chicago. Time seems to stand still as I stand in hot sun and nice breeze. Its just beautiful, enchanting, marvellous. Never thought Chicago could be so beautiful and Serene. Had the jetBlue Flight to Chicago from new york city in early morning. It was really heart-warming that many couchsurfers came to drop me at jfk. Went to Millenium Park in afternoon and Skylark dive bar in evening with Mars and Simon.



6 July 2008
Its sunday. Woke early. Had a looooong Walk to downtown. Bought my new sneakers from Payless shoe source on Ashland Avenue. Going downtown with Marsena and Simon later on.

7 July 2008

Its Monday. Went to Library early morning. It was really chilly and cloudy as I wasnt wearing anything except my shorts and t-shirt.

8 July 2008

Its Tuesday. Went to library again
__________________________

10 July 2008 A WONDERFUL DAY FOR ME....A TREAT !! totally unexpected.

Its Thursday. I went to the Chicago Public Library just for fun and there I found Mr. Salman Rushdie. The famous author being persecuted in Muslim world for decades. I specially bought to original copies of Satanic Verses and got them signed from him. Was the last person to leave the auditorium after the huge crowd left. Had a little chat with him and some historic snaps. Will be proud of this moment for a while. Mr. Rushdies especially was surprised to find out that am from pakistan since not many people from Pakistan respect him or like his books. In fact, he is condemned to death for 'blasphemy'....


11 July

Its Friday. Met Perronick and Angella... the german and swiss couchsurfers. Both are violin players. Guy had marfan syndrome.

12 July 2008

Its saturday. Went cornholing. it was FUN FUN FUN FUN..... I won not just the cornhole but also the winner's pie. Corn Hole is a midwestern US game played with little sacks filled with corn that you have to throw in a hole. Its a lazy game usually played in sunny summer afternoons with barbecue and drinks. Loved the whole idea. Another famous midwest game is hackysack. John's friend tyler especially gifted me a hackysack ball some days back.


13 July

Its sunday. Marco arrived today from Slovenia. He is also a couchsurfer. A really nice person. We went to Frisbie with Mark Walden and Mars. And then to Millenium park.

14 July 2008

Its Monday. Went to Northwestern university today

.......
25 July 2008

Its Friday and Sehar's birthday. her first in US. Missed her today. Hope she celebrates it in style. Going back to Newyork city today. Going to Avida and then to Rainforest for lunch before I leave. Will be going with Mike Mendez. Using rideshare of craigslist for first time. It would be fun to drive all the way from Chicago to Philadelphia. Have got my camera ready for the almost 1000 mile trip :)

26 July 2008

Its saturday today.
Its 7 15 pm and I am in Talha's house. Reached Philadelphia in morning. Took Cherry bus from Philly to NYC. Reached NYC to be shocked. Called Talha for 2 hours before finally thinking that he would be asleep and took a subway with my big bag from canal street and went all the way down to Staten island Ferry and then took ferry to island and then another bus to his place. Got off half a mile short and had to pull my big bag all the way to is place. Finally reached there by 1 30 pm even though I reached NYC by 9 50 am. Called him and he finally picked up the call and he was sleeping. So I surprised him and took his pic in pajamas when he came out. But surprise was for me and I found that he already had his stag yesterday night and today he is going to Utah on business trip. So, am pushed in to looking for a place to stay tonight, even though I haven't slept for 36 hours. To find a new abode for myself and I am kind of relaxed as I have loads of options in my mind. Lot of couchsurfers and hostel option. So just came back after seeing dark Knight with talha for free and kind of taking it all lightly. Its 8 pm now and am getting a bit panicky as every person I called had his or her voicemail on. Talha delayed his flight for tonight for me to tomorrow morning. He's a great friend. Only that we did not figure out stuff before my arrival and a part of my problem is mine because of my stupid idea of surprising people. That happened on my first day in Chicago also and felt so embarassed that I had to call Marsena back from her outting to welcome me. I just emailed Mennonite mission network people in NYC and now I am about to leave for hostel with Talha after dinner. Thanks God I won't have to worry about carrying my bag as Talha will drop me there. Its 10 25 pm. Just arrived at hostel again after 3 weeks only to find it has changed quite a bit. I can't find Marcello and thanks goodness they had 1 bed in mixed room. I just want to go to sleep now. Long long day.
27 July 2008

Its sunday
Raining. Woke up at 11 30 am and just corresponded with a prospective landlord about seeing her place in Long Island. I am going there even if its raining. Cant miss this opportunity. Talked to Brian. I may get to stay at his place for 2 days.

28 July 2008

Its 2 30 pm on Monday. Am at Bryant park. Checked out from hostel and paid 3 dollars to keep my bags there. Had a hotdog and waiting for call from my prospective new landlord Marisol and a call from Brian. Hoping to not to spend any money at hostel stay again. There are continuous announcements about some movie here at Bryant park tonight at 9 pm. Its 5 pm now. Got call from Brian and he can't host me. Its fine with me as he is already staying with 5 other people and I understand his situation. And I cant move-in to long island as her tenant is not leaving till 1st august. No place to go but back to hostel. Its 6 30 pm and am at hostel. came here to find out they are fully booked now for whole night. Had no option but to call a distant Jazz hostel for tonight in harlem and as luck would be, just before I left, someone cancelled booking for tonight and I got a bed for tonight and tomorrow. Also got a surprise call from marko. Now no stress of staying on my head. So, going out with Marko to movies. Will see him at 8 00 pm in Bryant Park.

30th july 2008

its 2 am in the night here as I sit here in new york city. Soon i will be going back to my hostel for my last night there. I have now quite some memories of that place. Its surprising how much people can influence your mood and behavior. My last visit to this hostel was planned and I made so many good friends that I miss now and though it was only for 8 days. This time my stay here was totally unplanned and it turned out to be not so good. It was totally haphazard. Everyday I thought i'd leave this place for some better sanctuary but I couldn't find one. And so i finally decided to settle for this place till tonight as I move out tomorrow afternoon to my new abode in Long island. I know it'll be tough to carry my bag through3 subways and 3 buses but am still happy and excited as am looking forward to it. Good thing is that my landlord allowed me to stay inside her part of house till her tenant moves out on 1st and I won't have to spend more money. I have already spent alot of it and now I need to really hold my reins. I met yasir and his friend today and surprisingly it went well. he didnt rebuff me about my meeting with salman rushdie. In fact, after listening to all his stints in various hospitals n univs here and his thrift spending, I kind of scolded myself in heart for being so careless past one month. I dont have a job right now and I dont have unlimited resources. My parents are willingly supporting me as they don't know my 'other' free-thinking agnostic side. I know the day they find out about it, i will lose everything and everyone and would be left alone. Thanks goodness I have made some really good friends here in NYC and Chicago. And I am so happy because of my superb friend Mars who let me use her place as my home in US.

31st july 2008

Am sitting here in hostel lounge at 12 noon. I just checked out but asked them to let me stay here till 2 30 when I will begin my long journey with big bags towards long island. I will be staying at a nice lady's place in Baldwin which is about 2 hours from my internship place in new hyde park but that will work fine for me as the place is really nice, clean and good for me as its cheap. Since yesterday I am living on some cashew nuts and chips but I think I did get to have my required calories. In fact yesterday was my day in NYC on this 2nd visit when I felt I was on a real high from evening onwards. This energy made me stay awake till 4 30 am and I woke today at 8 57 am which is not bad as am not feeling sleepy at all. I emailed and got a good response from student coordinator at NSLIJ that I can show up on 4th august instead of 1st on Monday which has decreased a lot of stress from my mind. I dont have to worry soon after my shifting about preparing my dress for next morning and so as I dont even know if there will be an iron for my use or i'll have to buy one. I am listening to desert rose by sting and I remember I felt really good when I purposefully listened this song when my kuwait air plane flew over baghdad and baquba. It gives me pain when I see pain and suffering and this feeling of helplessness that I cant do anything about it. Here in US I saw last year and this year some monuments, flags and flowers for those brave soldiers who lost their lives when they had nothing personal to do over there. It was just because of some poor decisions at the authority level which were so surprising for me from a country which really gave this world a hope about assimilation, freedom and democracy. I remember on my 2nd day in US on this visit; precisely 28th june saturday when I went to ground zero and felt so bad that I come from the land where this all darkness originated from. It almost made me teary when I heard the brillinat song by U2 'city of blinding lights' but it also made me so hopeful and happy. Thats why I went to Statue of liberty and then to staten island. Just the look of lady liberty is mesmerizing. Its so much hopeful. She won't bend or give in the freedom she represents. Not some fought-for freedom as depicted wrongly in the movies but the spiritual freedom. I don't know if many people have seen it but she looks so much at peace with herself. I felt so elated that I hide my true beliefs and thoughts from my parents, Muslim friends and everyone in family but I am at peace with myself. I didnot come over to USA to just get in to a residency and earn some money. I came here for freedom. Freedom of life and pursuit of happiness. Freedom of thought, speech and expression. I love America. Not because of its money and power. But because of its diversity and openness. So, its 9 28 pm now and I just got back to the place where am going to stay for next whole month. I don't know where I will be sleeping tonight as the room I am supposed to rent is till not vacant and that tenant ill move out tomorrow. Am waiting for Marisol-the owner to come and we can talk. I feel super exhausted right now. Made this mistake of going to McDonalds and took the N6 bus to jamaica station and didn't realize that it would be so tough to get a seat on the returning buses. Missed 4 buses to get my chance finally. Earlier, I came all the way from Varet street near Bogart in Brooklyn to this place here in Baldwin in Long Island via 4 subway connections and 3 buses. Took a lot of time and strength and energy and my bag's wheels are also quite flattened now but atleast I made it to here without spending any penny unlike last time when I had to buy LIRR tickets costing more then $30.00........
...July goes... 1 month and 4 days done in US till now...